Yes you heard it right folks.
It is a fact that today if there was no bitterness, stigma, dogma, taboo and money attached to a separation..there would be many more divorces.People have shied away from separating from their spouses simply because it is just too much of an effort to do so…over and above the social angle attached to it.It s not true love that keeps them together..
some people chose to ignore this and bracket it under ‘compromise’ and live out their boring meaningless lives, bickering and fighting and cribbing…and in more cases than not- having an extra-marital affair.Some people just get bored.They fall out of love because of over familiarity – and please before you women jump – it is as applicable to men as it is to women.Boredom creeps into the sex lives, behaviors patterns..and this compounds the matters.It becomes an obstacle to a free flowing relationship.
What will this do -?
- break age old beliefs that tie people down without willingness to do so.
- people get real about their wants and needs – instead of always being in a hypothetical mindset.
- less crimes against women.
- modernize our society.
It would be unfair to say all people go through this..because some smartly work it out – reinventing things.But for majority ,it does not.Even re-inventing your sex life is against some social & religious practices as well.Ignorance and misinformation play a huge role as well.
Chauvinistic ‘peerhood’ also is a big cause for concern between men, and conservatism in women.Each of these type of men and women have a very strong belief system.They think what they know is right.Period. they form opinions about life which may not be logical or even justified…but hey they will surely make sure that they make it sound as if it is the best decision or the best thing to do.Rest follow.
The object of marriage is to co-exist willingly,in love,and respect.If any of these things go missing..then it starts to test the individual.
So think about a situation where you could be married only for 5 years.
At the end of the 5 year contract, you re free to go anywhere you want to anyone you want. You just become available again in the market.You are allowed to find a new partner or separate with existing one without any bitterness, fights, or even a divorce. Alternatively, if the last 5 years have been so fulfilling then you can always renew the contract.Keep renewing it till you want.There will be no taboo or social stigma attached to it.
If you chose to have kids within the 5 year period then full financial responsibility is needed to be borne by both partners till the child completes his basic college education.Similarly, any other joint financial decisions/investments need to be separated equally.
What will this do ?
- Reduce time energy and money and emotional breakdowns, running to fro the courts.
- People will learn to recognize their true feelings and take actions accordingly.
- People will be more careful before planning a child…not bow to family or peer pressure to have a kid.
- life will be more practical than farcical.
What’s the risk – The trouble starts when the husband has invested a lot of money and wife has not or the reverse.In that case only one partner is financially independent and the other is not.So therefore the dependent one will always want to renew the contract while the independent one might not want to do the same.What happens then ?
The answer is simple – whoever initiates the close of a contract pays the other party. If they jointly decide no payment is required then that is fine.If there is a dispute on how much money should be given – an independent financial health counselor should evaluate their financial standing and the separated partners scope of leading a par living, and compute the amount needed to sustain a similar lifestyle for a the period of time in between the next contract.The payment seizes once the dependent partner is into a new contract.
What will this do –
- prevent abuses physical and mental,coz if one of the partner is in a bad condition – then the other has to pay during contract period.
- no party will be left out in the lurch fighting lengthy court battles.
- increase awareness between two prospective contractors
- more people will try tp make sure they are financially independent.
- greater care about breaking off a relationship
Is this system fool proof ? no it is not – every system has it s breaking points or loop holes – there will be exceptional cases which probably do not fall under any such categorization and will have to be dealt separately – aren’t we doing that now as well in our current system? This system will minimize the impact of mis utilization of the word marriage.it will enhance true love and reason to back it.It will make people more practical and true to their innermost feelings and thoughts,and improve as a society.
Go ahead take a quick poll – anonymously – and let us know your true thoughts.
Cheers
Disclaimers –
- the views are objective and for a discussion point only.
- the views expressed do not mean disrespect to any section of the society.
- the views expressed are not to be mixed with authors personal life.
- the views expressed are not meant to discriminate existing systems.
The Gyan Ban Times 
[…] 5 year marriage Contract […]
Love and Money cannot go hand in hand…… You cannot weight love in contracts and money and court battles…. there is much more to marriage than that…
The Idea could probably be used in another 100 years time when mankind becomes far more advanced in mind body and soul and society too advances and reaches that level then probably we could have many such ‘advanced’ rules of love :D.. until then njoy the life long companionship!
Well not sure if your are aware of the terms pre Nuptial agreement and alimony. !:-)) it is already happening mate.
I appreciate your thoughts.
I read somewhere that some European country (I think Germany) were lobbying for a similar law (only there it was for 7 years)
Interesting and insightful post. I was also pretty surprised by the poll results.
thats very interesting..didnt know that.
thanks for appreciating the post….
and welcome – Ja saala!. 🙂
No, poll results did not surprise me though.
Going by the present day trends, this may happen for worse but, if at all there is true love, respect and understanding between the two, life will not be as miserable as painted.
Sir, i know this is a very radical idea – but intent is to look at the positives that could potentially come out of it. I am sure there are many couples who manage to uphold their love and affection for years together.But you d have to agree that this is more of a 60’s or 70’s generation trait.As we move into the instant gratification world of 2010…I sense a lot less patience in Gen X and Gen Y.For the them the mantra is to move on beyond a point…as against say us, where the idea was to move on …but with the same person.
Bitterness, vengeance and pain are emotions that one has to live with everyday in a broken marriage. No contract law can handle that kind of emotional baggage. i.e.
A contract can be executed but the emotions don’t magically disappear once the contract is executed.
Marriage laws, particularly in India, while being designed to protect women in a patriarchal and orthodox society, have been misused and there is very little that can be done when they are misused. e.g. – Non-bailable warrants on mere suspicion of dowry harassment. Law works well 9 out of 10 times. The 1 time – where it doesn’t is the problem. Such clauses can be used to pressure a settlement.
The idea of a 5 year contract – may reduce the abuse of the law. However, one still has to ensure that the interest of the spouse more likely to be exploited/oppressed are not ignored. Er…back to square one eh?
I dont think you get the point here. -If two people enter into a contract willingly, in agreement, fully aware of the terms – then where is the question of negative emotional baggage at the end of it.? Au contraire, if they feel strongly for each other – then they can always renew the contract.
It s the law of averages for a billion people.By your own admission – it works 9/10 times – most people would say that is fantastic.There is no question of settlement if there is no dispute.An agreement can only stay valid if two parties are in agreement – else it is deemed void.
When both partners are equal stake holders there is no chance of any imbalance…dont think it is back to square one.