Parents (or anyone!), I need your help. Pretty please?
Because so often when baby arrives, it changes everything and you can sort of get lost in that when your focus is entirely on the baby. And I really want them to be able to have even something small that helps them be in that moment with themselves either before or after baby arrives. I don't know if this makes sense. And this can be like something super simple, right? A mug to drink coffee out of and just sort of be present in that moment or I don't even know
That was in addition to the tension that's already felt between families in divorce, but it ended up being a positive in that after the divorce was settled, we actually became closer and we did go on vacation and do things together, even with our children, my two girls and my nephew. So it created an opportunity for the cousins to even become closer post divorce. But something that my sister in law said to me during the divorce process kind of stuck with me ever since
Like, when you before you became a parent and then soon after you became a parent, like, what what for you would have been really meaningful and important if you had received it as a gift? Or rather, if you could go back in time and choose that gift, like, what would it be to celebrate you prior to baby's arrival and after baby's arrival?
Swell Team
@Swell · 0:15
You. Okay. I think I know what you're saying, but I had to think about it, and I remember we had a babysitter that was really into scrapbooking, and she made a beautiful, scrapped scrapbook of my daughter's first year of life, and it came out beautiful. I mean, she had really spent time on it, and it's just something that we always go back and look at when we come across it
Deborah Pardes
@DBPardes · 2:28
Continuity is extremely important. To be there an ever present voice once you're in their lives, and to show up and to give that present every couple of months that reminds them that you're thinking about them. And I'm not talking about material present, I'm talking about the present that's like a little gift, a toy, but not a toy, like a poem or like, I don't know, a story. Because they hold on to things to understand the world through you
So it's a journey, they are the nurturers, the baby is going to come grow up and go on his or her own way and what's going to stay is both of them. The reason I'm stating this is because 99% of times marriages go bland, relationships become dull, because parents are not able to be partners. They forget themselves, they forget the love and the affection that they have for each other and the entire attention is taken away from the baby, which is rightfully so
And so finding the right I don't want to say key, but that's essentially it to fit their particular heart, right, is differently shaped. And so connecting with this little one who I have no idea what I'm going to meet in real life and who is going to know me then only by technology and screen time, perhaps. And there's that distance, and then how do you change that and how do you affect that? And I'm not necessarily asking for any answers here
Oh, thank you so much. This is brilliant. This was so helpful and you've inspired me. I have an idea now, I don't know exactly how I'm going to work it out, but my mind is spinning now with all sorts of ideas. And I would talk about it, but on the off chance that either of them would come over to the platform. I don't want to spoil it yet, but I maybe in a future as well
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:52
And they be able to draw upon that advice in those moments when they have moments where they are about to forget to say, wait a minute. I got to put the oxygen mask on me first before I can ever be an amazing parent to this kid
J.L. Beasley
@Her_Sisu · 4:56
Like I said, a one and a half year old, close to two year old and a four and a half month old. Nothing about that. With me being a mom of a 14 year old parent and having the level of freedom I have with the child, that is fairly self reliant, I have no inkling because I don't even want another baby. So the thought of having that level of responsibility of two babies like that under two does not sound exciting or fun
These are great things to sort of visit, create memories of video and audio and so on, and revisit those down the line. But they don't have this rolling through time celebration of each other, if that makes sense of, like, not only why did you fall in love with them or what caught your attention, but what is it that you love about them today? What is it that you hope to learn about them tomorrow?
